Timid Motions Of A Fragile Heart
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: "In the months after the war, Harry had changed completely." / Harry suffers from survivor's guilt, and Draco does his best to help. The possibility of a relationship hangs in the balance.


**This fic has been written for the Last Ship Standing Competition on HPC, and was inspired by the prompts **_**action: a character must drink firewhiskey, dialogue: "my heart has scars you will never understand!"**_** the song **_**Smile by Uncle Kracker**_**, specifically the lines **_**And just like that/You steal away the rain **_**and the quote **_**"that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt" – John Green, The Fault in our Stars.**_

**The title is inspired by Andrea Gibson's quote: **_**"Do you think anger is a sincere emotion or the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?"**_

* * *

Being the only scion of a wealthy old pureblood family taught a person a lot of things. Draco knew five different languages fluently and was conversational in three more. He knew exactly what knives and forks to use at formal dinner, and in which order.

But the most important thing he knew had been drilled into his head since he was young child. Trust no one expect for the closest of family. Everyone will try and find a way to take advantage of you.

So when Harry Potter took the stand at his Ministry trial after the war, he was completely astounded. Sure, Potter owed his mother a life debt. But that would have been paid off by getting his charges dropped quietly like he did with his father, and he knew Potter knew that. Getting on that stand and defending him to the entire wizarding world was not something that was required by the life debt. And the fact that he continued to fight to have the entire incident wiped from the Ministry files, including his status as a Death Eater, was the greatest shock of all.

Potter was the first truly selfless person Draco had ever met, the first person who didn't look at him as a means of forwarding some hidden agenda they had. After all, what would Potter need from him when he was the most famous person in the wizarding world and had an inheritance to match the Malfoy fortune?

It didn't surprise him one bit when he realised he had gone and fallen in love with Harry Potter. After all, he was the only person who actually cared about him apart from his parents

It was the only reason he agreed to return to Hogwarts. He didn't need it, but maybe another year with Harry would make him see Draco differently.

At least, that was what he thought until he saw how Harry had become.

In the months after the war, Harry had changed completely. He wasn't the boy who had been Draco's nemesis anymore. He was withdrawn and had a tendency to dark moods.

If Draco had been a psychologist, he would have said that Harry was suffering from deep seated guilt.

He had seen Harry go through some bad phases over the six years they had shared a school, but he hadn't really cared. Now that he had fallen in love with Harry however, it was a completely different thing.

He stayed back and watched Harry unravel; unsure of whether his help would be appreciated. He was a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor – he didn't have the courage to walk up to him and demand that Harry had let him help.

Had it been anyone else, of course he would have been able to do that. Not with Harry though. Harry was too important for Draco to risk his rejection.

But it was inevitable that things would come to a head, and that was exactly what happened when Draco came across a completely drunk Harry sitting on the edge of the Black Lake during one of his nightly midnight strolls around the castle.

Despite his level of drunkenness, Harry was still gulping down mouthfuls of firewhiskey from the bottle in his hand. Seeing that, something in Draco just…_snapped_.

He quickly dashed forward and pulled the bottle from Harry's hands. "I think that's quite enough."

Harry squinted at him, trying to make out his features.

"Oh lookie! It's Drca – Day – Dray…"

As Harry continued getting his name wrong, Draco pulled out his wand and quietly aimed a sobering charm at Harry and waited for it to take effect.

After a few moments, Harry's face lost its glazed look, and he threw a glare at Draco. "What did you have to go and do that for? I was enjoying being drunk!"

Draco glared back at Harry, completely unfazed. "In case you didn't notice, you're completely sloshed, Potter. Just what were you thinking to accomplish with that?"

"You have absolutely no clue about the stuff I'm going through! The amount of people I lost in the war, the things I've been forced to do…my heart has scars you'll never understand, _Malfoy_," Harry growled, spitting out Draco's name like a curse.

Draco refused to feel hurt over that. Harry was not in his right mind, and everything he said had to be taken with a pinch of salt. That didn't mean he had to treat him with first-year Potions gloves, however.

"You think I don't know what you're going through Potter? I lost friends in the war too! Or have you forgotten about the fact that I watched Vincent burn to death as I watched? At least you didn't have to _watch_ your friends die! And don't even bother telling me you had to do terrible things! I had a madman living in my house who threatened to torture and kill my parents if I didn't torture his prisoners. The way I see it, you've had to suffer through barely lived through a fraction of the horror I experienced."

Harry stared at him with an odd look on his face. Draco braced himself for Harry's screaming reply when the Gryffindor lunged and captured his lips in a fierce kiss.

For a moment, Draco allowed himself to enjoy the feel of Harry's lips on his own, his hands running over his body, creeping under his-

"Stop it!" he said, forcing himself to push Harry away from him.

"What's your problem, Malfoy?" Harry asked him, breath coming in short pants.

"What do you think you're doing, Potter? I'm not someone you can toy with and dump once you're finished," Draco said, glaring at Harry.

Harry sighed, dropping the irritated look on his face. "I've wanted to do that for some time now, Mal- Draco," he said, running his hand through his hair tiredly. "And then you decided to call me on my bullshit, the only one to do so, and you just looked so hot when you were screaming, I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"I never said I didn't want you to kiss me, you dimwit," Draco said, completely astounded by Harry's lack of sense.

Harry looked at Draco uncomprehendingly. "Then why did you push me away? I was enjoying that!" he exclaimed, a faint hint of whine in his voice.

"Harry, we can't just jump into a relationship," Draco told him gently. "We've hated each other for years, and besides that, you're not in the best frame of mind right now. We need to talk about this, _properly_, when you're actually sober and not under the effects of a sobering charm before deciding what to do."

"Draco…" Harry stared.

Draco cut his off before he could continue. "I'm not saying that I don't want a relationship with you Harry. I do. I want one so badly you have no idea, and I'll fight tooth and nail to make sure you're mine. But if we're doing this, we're doing this _properly_ and we're both going to get into it fully informed."

For some reason, this made Harry smile. "Okay, fine," he said, getting up off the ground and holding out a hand to help Draco up. "We'll do this your way."

And before Draco could say anything, Harry leaned in to peck him softly on the lips.

"Now come on," Harry said, pulling Draco towards the castle. "The sooner I get into bed, the sooner I can wake up sober and talk things out with you."

Draco couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face as he walked up to Hogwarts with Harry by his side. Maybe Hogwarts and Harry hadn't turned out exactly like he had expected them to. But he'd still managed to get a chance with Harry, and as far as he was concerned, that made everything alright.

* * *

_For:_

_The if You Dare Challenge, Prompt 622. Guilt_

_OTP Bootcamp, Prompt 21. Lost_

_HP Potions Competition, Draught of Peace_

_Mythological Creatures Competition, Griffin_


End file.
